


Parlor Tricks

by lilacbombs



Category: Lupin III
Genre: Clowns, Dialogue Heavy, Gen, Italian Mafia, Nonbinary Character, Oneshot, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-21 19:28:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30026703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilacbombs/pseuds/lilacbombs
Summary: Lupin had stepped out of the motel room to buy food. Takeout, of course– Japanese-Chinese to suit Goemon's taste. What was strange was that now, in their far-flung corner of the Vegas strip, an unexpected guest entertaining. Someone Jigen was none too happy with.A clown– A daughter, son, whatever– of one of the most powerful families In Las Vegas.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	Parlor Tricks

Lupin had stepped out of the motel room to buy food. Takeout, of course– Japanese-Chinese to suit Goemon's taste. What was strange was that now, in their far-flung corner of the Vegas strip, an unexpected guest entertaining. Someone Jigen was none too happy with.

"Alright, let's try this again– Look here, Bo."  
"My name is not Bo."  
"I know, but Bo's sharper! It's a nickname, ya? Now watch closely."

  
The clown picked a small foam ball from his pocket and held it in one hand. With a blow and a wave, the ball disappeared into thin air.

"So, Where do you think the ball is now?"

Looking around the room, the samurai postured on the Zantetsuken like a cane, not breaking his refined pose even while sitting on a couch. His gaze searched high and low, intently studying and considering every possibility before answering. Jigen found it heartbreakingly hilarious that he didn't get the trick.

"I believe it is under Jigen's hat."

_Seriously? How would that clown slip it under there without him seeing it? Was he just playing dumb?_

Nero and Jigen gave confused glances to one another, before facing Goemon. The samurai mistook their perplexed faces for evidence of defeat, having duped his opponent at last.

"Nope! Sorry, but it's not under Jack heres' lid."

Goemon, once again looked bewilderedly onward as Nero gestured under the lampshade and "found" a foam ball. Despite the answer being different 3 times now, he still acted like he was supposed to actually guess the ball's location. Jigen wondered if the clown would ever show pity on him.

The clown, Nero– who'd showed up completely busted to their Vegas hotel room one night, still hung around. Nero, an heir to the Carnivale crime family, and leading act at the big top. Nero, The same clown who graciously returned the Zantetsuken after Goemon let it get swiped. Despite his chipper appearance, Jigen didn't trust him as far as he could throw him. A distance Jigen wasn't actually that sure of, seeing how stocky he was.  
He didn't trust him because he knew mafia types. They were all the same– even if they look innocent, they are cold-blooded through and through. Snakes. Once they get theirs, you're as good as dead. Some families were indeed rather courteous, but that's so long as they needed you alive. If you were an asset. If you got in the way of something they wanted, you were as good as dead. Didn't matter whether you were their friend or not.

Yet somehow this... kid, whatever they were– showed up like a lost puppy in the rain and won Lupin over. Idiot. He's lucky he had Jigen around. He would've gotten a bullet in his back by now.

Nero stretched his arms briefly, and put his foam ball(s) back into his pocket.

"I'm going to the little clown's room, you dig? Be right back," he said, straightening his gloves. As Nero waltzed towards the bathroom, Jigen tried to spot a gun or knife in the little clown's waistband. All he could really see was a pack of cards and a magic wand in his back pocket. Then felt something wooden press into his chest.

"What?"  
It was the scabbard of the Zantetsuken, poking in his chest as a muted threat. Goemon sat on the couch across from his chair with a scowl, one hand square on his own knee in his typical "discipline" pose.

"Don't stare."

Jigen pushed the sword away with a squint and grabbed another cigarette. The ashtray grew fuller the longer he had to babysit, which had been a while now.

"What are you talking about?"  
"I saw you looking at... ." He paused, eyes drawn down and considering the right word to say. When he next spoke, it was in a hushed tone.  
"Don't be like Lupin."

Jigen smacked his own forehead.  
"Oh, you've gotta be _kidding me_ – Are you serious? You think I would–?"  
He bit down on the filter slightly and lit it, putting the light of the match out with a flick of his hand. He preferred a lighter, but The Clown Motel (not the famous one, the original one not affiliated with the Carnivale) they were staying in gave them out for free, and Jigen hated taking stuff he'd never use. Might as well burn them up here.  
"I was just looking for a weapon."

"It's still disrespectful."

Jigen rolled his eyes and took a long drag of smoke. He could read Goemon like an open book most days– this being one of them.  
The samurai's weakness was women. Not just because he became a nervous wreck around them, but because of how he underestimated them. He saw them as things to protect. A gentlemanly mindset, he supposed– one that Jigen actually kind of respected. But he'd seen time and time again in their work that letting your guard down around a woman was an easy way to get screwed over. Not just by Fujiko– by anyone.  
Besides, wouldn't it be better to just treat them like you would anyone, instead of acting like you're putting the bumpers up?

"C'mon. You're just going soft 'cause she's a girl," said Jigen, dabbing his cigarette in the ashtray.

"It's not that simple."  
"What do you mean?"

The samurai readjusted himself on the couch, in a meditative position.

"I believe Nero is Nero. The rest is irrelevant."

Jigen leaned forward in his chair, nearly crunching the cigarette in his hand as he whisper-yelled.  
" _Do you hear yourself_? We're not friends with that clown. Look, I get respecting someone's identity and shit, that's not what I'm talkin' about– There is a member of the Carnivale crime family in our bathroom, and you're acting _soft_!"

A clarion voice echoed from the bathroom.

"I'm not deaf, y'know! I know you cats are talkin' about me."

Goemon and Jigen waited in uncomfortable silence as Nero finished, the toilet flushing and hand-washing muted by the door. Nero opened it with an unamused glare, an ungloved hand pushing the door open, the other holding the pair.

"I get why yous are suspicious, but I'm no rat! I'm seriously approaching a business deal here." He said, leaning on the wall closest to them.  
"Moreover, I'm sick of getting socked for not readin' my old lady's mind!"

It barely showed now, but when Nero first stumbled to their door, he looked like hell. A swollen face, glass, and all manner of sharps in his hair were just a few of the injuries there. Some bandaids and herbal remedy stuff from Goemon cleared the rest up pretty well– but Jigen could still see the spot on his face that was raised and red before. The white greasepaint hid the bruise pretty well.

"Can you blame us? I mean... do you realize what leaving a crime family means?" Jigen crossed his arms, cigarette ash falling to his pant leg.  
He knew all too well. Leaving meant either faking your death or running for the rest of your life. If there was anyone left in the family to hunt you, that is.

"You think I'm a sap? I know. Take a peep at this–" He untucked his shirt and lifted it up, showing his tummy to them. Just above the patches of hair lining his navel was a scar about an inch wide.

And despite only being able to see a fraction of whatever thing  
Nero used to keep his chest in order, Goemon quickly averted his gaze.

"They almost gave me a harlem sunset, all 'cause I cut my hair! Can you believe that?"

Jigen didn't understand a lot of Nero's slang, but he inferred what he meant when he saw the scar. That wouldn't be shocking on an older mobster, but Nero seemed to be in his early 20's. And it wasn't a new scar, either.  
Someone either stabbed him when he was just a fledgling, or he was lying.

Goemon just looked over to him in confusion, still averting himself and even putting up a hand as a shield.

"Oh, move your mitt, sourpuss. I'm not flashing ya. You don't have to be extra courteous to me just cause I'm a gal. Which I'm not!"  
Nero retucked himself and rambled over, sitting next to Goemon at an appropriate distance– one leg crossed.  
"I don't always get it myself, but it's like I told yous. I'm no daisy."  
He leaned one hand (now gloved) over the couch arm and leaned on it.

"You don't have to trust me. Though I'd like to be friends, all you gotta know is this– my family's got some serious dough. Shiny marbles and stuff too– And I know how to get it. If Lupin's as good a thief as he says, well..."

He didn't finish, instead gesturing towards Jigen for a cigarette. He obliged, tossing the box and the box of matches to him.

"Then what?"  
Jigen felt the urge to bit the inside of his mouth pop up, as Nero fumbled with the matches and struggled to light one without burning himself. When he eventually got it, Jigen felt like he was a year older.

The clown took a long drag and wondered, eyes drawn to the window facing west.

"Then he won't take a dirt nap in the desert."

**Author's Note:**

> Heyy thank you for reading. As you probably guessed this was just a test thing to see how my oc Nero would talk. It was really fun imagining his interactions with Jigen and Goe– I hope to make more like this in the future.
> 
> I also hope none of the gender stuff in this came off as insensitive. Nero is kind of a projection of a lot of gender stuff I've been questioning lately, and I wanted to write Jigen/co with a realistic amount of knowledge/perception of him, with Jigen namely forming it out of mistrust. Also getting the aspect of Goe's character which is how he relates/treats women or y'know, people like Nero who lean closer to that side of the spectrum.
> 
> Nero uses any pronouns, but for this one, I mainly stuck with he/him. "She" is fine but it's not the main one I'd use. For chapters in the future I'll probably keep it that way, only using "she" for moments that are appropriate.


End file.
